A Psychodynamic Approach to Grieving the Loss of Relentless Hope and Evolving Towards Acceptance
Presented by Martha Stark, MD
Friday, July 21, 2023
9am-11am PT/ 11am-1pm CT/ 12pm-2pm ET
Event held online via Zoom, link to access provided upon registration.
“Pretending that it can be when it can’t is how people break their hearts.” Elvin Semrad
Relentless hope is a defense to which clients cling in order not to have to feel the pain of their disappointment in the object – the hope a defense ultimately against grieving. The refusal to deal with the pain of their grief about the object (be it the infantile, a contemporary, or the transference object) fuels the relentlessness with which such clients pursue it, both the relentlessness of their hope that they might yet be able to make the object over into what they desperately want it to be and the relentlessness of their outrage in those moments of dawning recognition that, despite their best efforts and most fervent desire, they might never be able to make that actually happen.
Psychotherapy offers these clients an opportunity, albeit belatedly, to grieve their early-on heartbreak – in the process transforming their defensive need to hold on into the adaptive capacity to relent, to forgive, to accept, to “internalize” the “good that had been,” to separate, to let go, and to move on. Realistic hope will arise in the context of surviving their disappointment and heartbreak. In truth, it could be said that maturity involves transforming the infantile need to have one’s objects be other than who they are into the healthy capacity to accept them as they are.
With an eye always to the translation of theoretical concepts into clinical practice, I will be focusing my 2-hour presentation on the actual “working through” of grief as the client begins to confront the painful reality of the object’s limitations, separateness, and immutability. I will demonstrate the powerful impact of using optimally stressful, growth-incentivizing “disillusionment statements” that have been strategically designed to juxtapose what the client “had hoped” with what the patient “is coming to realize.” The ultimate goal will be translation of the client’s relentless hope into sober, mature acceptance of the heartbreaking reality that it “was what it was” and “is what it is.” Sadder perhaps, but wiser too…
“True happiness is not about getting what you want but coming to want and appreciate what you have.” Japanese Saying
Zoom link will be available on course page in “My Courses” upon event registration.
When attended in full, this program offers 2.0 CEs for Psychologists, 2.0 IL CEUs for Counselors and Social Workers, 2.0 CA BBS CEUs for Counselors, Social Workers, and Marriage and Family Therapists, 2.0 NBCC Clock Hours
“Pretending that it can be when it can’t is how people break their hearts.” Elvin Semrad
Relentless hope is a defense to which clients cling in order not to have to feel the pain of their disappointment in the object – the hope a defense ultimately against grieving. The refusal to deal with the pain of their grief about the object (be it the infantile, a contemporary, or the transference object) fuels the relentlessness with which such clients pursue it, both the relentlessness of their hope that they might yet be able to make the object over into what they desperately want it to be and the relentlessness of their outrage in those moments of dawning recognition that, despite their best efforts and most fervent desire, they might never be able to make that actually happen.
Psychotherapy offers these clients an opportunity, albeit belatedly, to grieve their early-on heartbreak – in the process transforming their defensive need to hold on into the adaptive capacity to relent, to forgive, to accept, to “internalize” the “good that had been,” to separate, to let go, and to move on. Realistic hope will arise in the context of surviving their disappointment and heartbreak. In truth, it could be said that maturity involves transforming the infantile need to have one’s objects be other than who they are into the healthy capacity to accept them as they are.
With an eye always to the translation of theoretical concepts into clinical practice, I will be focusing my 2-hour presentation on the actual “working through” of grief as the client begins to confront the painful reality of the object’s limitations, separateness, and immutability. I will demonstrate the powerful impact of using optimally stressful, growth-incentivizing “disillusionment statements” that have been strategically designed to juxtapose what the client “had hoped” with what the patient “is coming to realize.” The ultimate goal will be translation of the client’s relentless hope into sober, mature acceptance of the heartbreaking reality that it “was what it was” and “is what it is.” Sadder perhaps, but wiser too…
“True happiness is not about getting what you want but coming to want and appreciate what you have.” Japanese Saying
After attending this intermediate level program, participants will be able to
1. explain why relentless hope is a defense
2. summarize what the relentless client is refusing to confront
3. construct a growth-incentivizing disillusionment statement designed to facilitate grieving
4. discuss the relationship between grieving and adaptive internalization
5. demonstrate the importance of relenting and evolving ultimately to a place of serene acceptance
GOAL 1: Program is relevant to psychological practice, education, and/or science.
STANDARD 1.3: Program content focuses on topics related to psychological practice, education, or research other than application of psychological
assessment and/or intervention methods that are supported by contemporary scholarship grounded in established research procedures.
General Admission: $30
TCSPP Faculty/Staff/Alumni: $20
Students: $15
(Please email [email protected] for coupon code)
Refund Policy: 100% of tuition is refundable up to 48 hours before the program. Within 48 hours of the program, tuition is nonrefundable.
Fonagy P, Rost R, Carlyle J, McPherson S, Thomas R, Fearon P, Goldberg D, Taylor D. Pragmatic randomized controlled trial of long-term psychoanalytic psychotherapy for treatment-resistant depression: The Tavistock Adult Depression Study (TADS). World Psychiatry – 25 September 2015.
Leichsenring F, Leweke F, Klein S, Steinert C. The empirical status of psychodynamic psychotherapy – An update: Bambi’s alive and kicking. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics – April 2015;84(3).
Lilliengren P. Comprehensive compilation of randomized controlled trials (RCTs) involving psychodynamic treatments and interventions. Research – June 2017.
Mitchell S. 1998. Relational concepts in psychoanalysis. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Smedes G. 1984. Forgive and forget: Healing the hurts we don’t deserve. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Stark M. 2017. Relentless hope: The refusal to grieve (International Psychotherapy Institute eBook). https://www.freepsychotherapybooks.org/ebook/relentless-hope-2/
Winnicott D. W. 1965. The maturational processes and the facilitating environment. Madison, CT: International Universities Press
Audience: Mental Health Professionals and Students
Psychologists. This program, when attended in its entirety, is available for 2.0 continuing education credits. The Chicago School of Professional Psychology is committed to accessibility and non-discrimination in its continuing education activities. The Chicago School of Professional Psychology is also committed to conducting all activities in conformity with the American Psychological Association’s Ethical Principles for Psychologists. Participants are asked to be aware of the need for privacy and confidentiality throughout the program. If program content becomes stressful, participants are encouraged to process these feelings during discussion periods. If participants have special needs, we will attempt to accommodate them. Please address questions, concerns and any complaints to [email protected]. There is no commercial support for this program nor are there any relationships between the CE Sponsor, presenting organization, presenter, program content, research, grants, or other funding that could reasonably be construed as conflicts of interest.
Counselors/Clinical Counselors. This program, when attended in its entirety, is available 2.0 hours of continuing education. The Chicago School of Professional Psychology is licensed by the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation (IDFPR) to provide continuing education programming for counselors and clinical counselors. License Number: 197.000159
National Board This program, when attended in its entirety, is available for 2.0 NBCC Clock Hours. The Chicago School of Professional Psychology has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 3036. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. The Chicago School of Professional Psychology is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
Social Workers. This program, when attended in its entirety, is available for 2.0 hours of continuing education. The Chicago School of Professional Psychology is licensed by the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation (IDFPR) to provide continuing education programming for social workers. License Number: 159.001036
MFTs, LPCCs, and LCSWs. Course meets the qualifications for 2.0 hour of continuing education credit for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. If you are licensed outside of California please check with your local licensing agency to to determine if they will accept these CEUs. The Chicago School of Professional Psychology is approved by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS) to offer continuing education programming for MFTs, LPCCs, LEPs, and/or LCSWs. The Chicago School of Professional Psychology is an accredited or approved postsecondary institution that meets the requirements set forth in Sections 4980.54(f)(1), 4989.34, 4996.22(d)(1), or 4999.76(d) of the Code.
Participation Certificate. The Chicago School of Professional Psychology is able to provide students and other participants who simply wish to have documentation of their attendance at the program a participation certificate.
Non Psychologists. Most licensing boards accept Continuing Education Credits sponsored by the American Psychological Association but non-psychologists are recommended to consult with their specific state-licensing board to ensure that APA-sponsored CE is acceptable.
Disclaimer for all programs:
If participants have special needs, we will attempt to accommodate them. Please address questions, concerns and any complaints to [email protected]. There is no commercial support for this program nor are there any relationships between the CE Sponsor, presenting organization, presenter, program content, research, grants, or other funding that could reasonably be construed as conflicts of interest.